A (Not So) Relaxing Stroll
by Pikapegasus
Summary: Within five seconds of walking outside, Natasha sneezes. Before she can protest it, Clint has a finger in her face as he laughs and laughs. "You have allergies!" (She's going to kill him.) (Clintasha Week 2016, Day 5: Seasons) (Oneshot.)


**Clintasha Week, Day 5:** Seasons

 _Spring_

* * *

Within five seconds of walking outside, Natasha sneezes.

Before she can protest it, Clint has a finger in her face as he laughs and laughs.

"You have allergies!"

(She's going to kill him.)

"No, I don't," Natasha says, turning her face away from Clint. She sniffles and blinks quickly, combating the water gathering in her eyes. As she's turned, she catches sight of a tree in full bloom of pink flowers. Damn D.C. and their cherry blossoms. "Can't a person just sneeze in peace? God."

"Your eyes are watering," Clint says, wearing a grin Natasha wouldn't mind wiping off of his face with her fist.

"Yes, Barton, because eyes _dry out_ if they don't have moisture in them," Natasha retorts, taking a few steps away from him. "Now, then, are we gonna finish walking your dog or not?"

At the mention, the seemingly self-aware Lucky barks, pushing his nose against Natasha's pant leg. She pets his head without looking down.

"You sure your cat doesn't want to go for a walk with us?" Clint asks. Natasha glances up at their apartment window on the fifth floor of the building beside them. Sure enough, Liho is sitting there, his face pushed up to the glass. She's sure that his calculating hazel eyes are watching them.

"Cats don't go for walks," Natasha reminds Clint, irritably rubbing at her watery eyes with the backs of her hands before glancing back at him. He just smirks. "I'm not going to let you lose Liho."

"Ye of little faith," Clint says, stepping up to her and throwing an arm around her shoulders. "I could handle your cat just fine, thank you very much."

"Cats hunt birds, so, no, I don't think you could." Natasha smiles smugly at him and escapes his half-embrace. She sniffles again, quickly turning her face away. "Can we get on with this walk now?"

"So you don't have to deal with your _allergies_ any longer?" Clint teases.

"I don't have allergies!"

Of course, that's the moment she sneezes.

"Right. And hawks don't fly."

She grits her teeth, gesturing to him behind her with her thumb. "This hawk won't be able to fly in a few seconds if he keeps this up."

"Okay, okay! Sheesh. Allergies make you grumpy." Clint walks ahead of her then, Lucky happily trailing behind him.

Natasha follows at a slightly slower pace, keeping her face down and away from the evil plants blossoming around her. She can practically taste the freshly airborne pollen on her _tongue._ It's torturous. She sneezes again, groaning as she wipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. She never should have agreed to go on this stupid walk.

"Let's go to the park," Clint suggests a few minutes later, stopping at the street corner. Natasha narrowly misses blindly walking into his back. Lucky watches her, head turned to one side. She glares at him, silently telling him to just let her be, like she'd told Clint. "I brought a tennis ball to play fetch with Lucky. That'll be good exercise for him."

As she opens her mouth to reply, a sneeze rattles her entire body. Natasha sniffles loudly, dragging her fingers down her face to stretch her eye lids. This is worse than any _actual_ torture she's ever endured, she's sure of it. She bites her lip to prevent the frustrated screech from breaking loose, because she's just _that_ upset.

"You're awfully quiet," Clint comments as they cross the street. Natasha avoids eye contact. "How are those allergies?"

"How do they _sound?_ " Natasha snaps, taking two quick steps to pass Clint and walk in front of him. She crosses her arms over her chest. Maybe if she could stop breathing while she's outside, she'd be spared. If she can hold her breath for two minutes under water, maybe she can do the same above water? She decides to try.

"Aha, so you didn't deny it," Clint says. Natasha releases her held breath at his words, angrily realizing the error of her ways. Five seconds. That's her new above water breath holding record. She stops as they come upon the stupid park.

"Maybe I _do_ have allergies," she mumbles, her words accompanied by a sniffle. "But it's no big deal. It happens."

"I find it endearing," Clint says, coming to a stop beside her. Lucky looks up at her expectantly again. Natasha sighs, crouching down in front of him to properly pet him. She can practically hear Clint grinning. "I mean, the Black Widow has allergies. How cool is that?"

"That's not _cool_ ," Natasha says, shaking her head. Lucky pants happily as she scratches behind his floppy ears. "I find it disgusting and very disadvantageous." She sneezes again, just barely managing to turn her face away from Lucky to protect him from her snot. "This used to not be a problem before I moved to America, you know."

"I figured," Clint shrugs. "It's okay. Having allergies is a perfectly normal part of spring."

"Fuck spring," Natasha says.

"I think spring is _wonderful_." As if to boast, Clint inhales deeply and loudly, audibly announcing the clarity of his nose. Natasha stares at him through narrowed eyes and pursed lips. He beams. "Everything is growing and looks beautiful! Even you, with your red eyes and runny nose!"

"Really?" Natasha stands back up to full height. "Okay, then. You have five seconds to run."

"What?"

"Five."

"Shit." Clint looks down to Lucky, wide-eyed. He quickly bends over to free him from the leash, holding Lucky's muzzle between his palms. "Every dog for himself, pal. I'll see you on the other side."

"Four."

Lucky blinks, then barks.

"Three-two- _one!_ "

Clint takes off then, running not unlike a maniac. Lucky, just as energetic as his owner, runs beside him, his tongue hanging from his mouth. Natasha follows them quickly, her feet pounding upon the grass as she chases after Clint.

"I'll show you allergies!" she yells to him. He laughs.

"You don't have to show me, I've already seen enough!"

"You're a dead man, Barton! My next sneeze will be aimed at your _face!_ "

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm a day behind still, I know,,, I gotta do day 4 (colors) lmao but that will hopefully be happening soon!


End file.
